


the apple of the eye

by gocrazygostupid



Series: men & their gods [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, VERY vague religious themes, but theyre there, dont worry aboud it, massive tender themes mostly. maybe a lil sad but not in a bad way, objective sentience... who needs it, sentience ive heard of em, the relationship tag is not real .. but maybe it is xoxo. no its not im joking. but maybe xoxo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gocrazygostupid/pseuds/gocrazygostupid
Summary: TELL ME, ARCHIVISTWHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?i'm not sure. i don't really get the chance to listen to musicif i told you, what would you do with it?I WOULD PLAY ITI WOULD LISTEN
Relationships: The Beholding & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, The Beholding/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: men & their gods [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803925
Comments: 75
Kudos: 314
Collections: you speak to me





	the apple of the eye

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icarus baby](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=icarus+baby).



I SEE

I SEE

I SEE

you sound like a stuck record sometimes

YOU RECORD. I SEE. I AM NOT STUCK. I SEE EVERYTHING TO SEE AND KNOW EVERYTHING TO KNOW

i-i know. that you know. but i don't have to know, all the time

I SEE

/

what... type of bird is this?

IT DOES NOT MATTER

i know, but i want to know if this is normal

birds don't usually roost in doorways if there are perfectly good, um... trees

THAT IS NOT TRUE

i think it is?

BIRDS ROOST WHEREVER IT IS WARM AND SAFE

/

—it's a good thing, i imagine

IMAGINE?

yes?

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

what? you're joking, you don't know what imagination is?

I KNOW. BUT I DO NOT HAVE IT. IT IS TO KNOW WITHOUT KNOWING. IT IS OUT OF MY REACH

it's just how the human brain works, i guess. it's... like a picture, in your head, but it's never full– ...fully realised

THE EDGES MOVE

yes. it's almost like a dream, but you're, um, awake

IMAGINE SOMETHING NOW

sure. my grandma had lots of nice plants and pots and such... i always wondered what this place would look like with them

OH

IT IS NICE

BRINGING THE OUTSIDE IN

YOU WOULD NOT REMEMBER TO WATER THEM

sure, but martin would do it

/

TELL ME A SECRET, ARCHIVIST

it's not like there's any left that you don't already have

THERE'S ALWAYS SECRETS

I DO NOT TAKE THEM

THEY ARE NOT MINE

but you feed on them, don't you?

DO YOU NOT EAT?

DO YOU NOT HUNGER?

well, not at the cost of someone else's well-being, no

UNTRUE

UNTRUE 

UNTRUE

YOU ALSO CRAVE

YOU ALSO TAKE

...that's different

it's different

i'm not the cause of a hundred thousand deaths

THAT IS DIFFERENT

IT IS DIFFERENT

UNTRUE

I YEARN AND SIT AND WAIT AND THINK AND PONDER AND WATCH

AND YOU HAUNT

i ask people questions. it's different. no one gets hurt by giving up a few of their secrets

EXACTLY

AND WHAT IS IT I DO?

/

... can you, you know, feel?

I CAN KNOW, AND THAT IS AS MUCH AS I HAVE EVER NEEDED

no, i don't mean emotions. can you feel... touch?

I DO NOT HAVE NERVE ENDINGS. I DO NOT HAVE BODY OR SUBSTANCE

but you have me! wait, that came out... ah, weird. you have us, the–the behold... en

THE BEHELD

I DO NOT HAVE YOU. YOU HAVE ME

I AM SIMPLY HERE AND WILL BE HERE, ALWAYS

yes, but— i just want to know if you're cold as well!

AH

I AM

PLEASE LIGHT THE FIRE

/

should i wear this?

IT LOOKS COMFORTABLE

YES

thank you

/

I DID NOT KNOW YOU LIKED ME

you didn't?

YOU DID NOT TELL ME

HOW WAS I TO LEARN

/

—all turtles aren't tortoises, but, all tortoises are turtles

YES. IN SOME LANGUAGES, THEY ARE SIMPLY CALLED SEA TURTLES AND LAND TURTLES

what about freshwater turtles?

THEY ARE CALLED CUTE?

/

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

september 18th, 1867. victoria smith

BATS FOLLOWED HER WHEREVER SHE WENT

yes

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

june 9th, 2001. edward helsing

EDWARD WOKE UP ONE MORNING, WALKED INTO THE WOODS, AND PLIED HANDFULS OF DIRT INTO HIS MOUTH UNTIL HE CHOKED

yes

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

this is a terrible game of guess who

/

WHAT IS THIS?

oh... uh, a chinchilla?

SMALL RODENT

OF COURSE. THEY ARE DELIGHTFUL

i suppose so. it's just a picture

IMAGES STILL ARE

/

it was my grandmother's recipe

I CANNOT TASTE BUT I WISH I COULD

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME

KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWLEDGE EVEN IF IT IS THE KNOWLEDGE OF BISCUITS

i can taste it for you, if you let me?

YES

IT IS NICE

THIS IS CINNAMON?

this is cinnamon

IT IS VERY WARM

IT IS VERY WARM

/

i... i never said i liked you, um, per se, you know

YOU DO, ALTHOUGH

you attached yourself to me. i'm not saying i don't like you, but "like" isn't really the word for it

TOLERATE?

at first. i hated you. but now i live through you

I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED YOU, JON

/

YOUR FRIENDS ARE SWEETER THAN APPLE PIE

uh... yes. they are

I SEE THEM

I KNOW THEM

they don't care

THAT IS OKAY

/

am i your friend?

NO

well, have you ever _had_ a friend?

I SUPPOSE NOT

YOU MAY BE MY FRIEND

/

BEHOLD

I HAVE SEEN THE HORRORS OF HUMANITY

UNYIELDING PRESENCE, EVER WATCHING EYES

I HAVE SEEN THE WONDERS OF HUMANITY

I HAVE SEEN THE SLOW, STICKY, HONEY SUMMER AFTERNOONS AND THE CRISP WINTER MORNINGS MUFFLED WITH ICE

I HAVE SEEN THE WARS

I HAVE SEEN THE CONSPIRACIES

I HAVE SEEN THE SUNSETS

what do you do, when i'm not around?

I WATCH FOR YOU WHEN YOU CANNOT

/

you're not brave, are you?

WHY

all the others, all they say is you... um, you hide in the shadows

sort of, stagnant

I HIDE EVERYWHERE. YOU SEE ME IN THE SHADOWS BUT I AM ON MOUNTAIN TOPS. THE CURRENTS OF

RIVERS FLOW ABOVE ME

I AM NOT A COWARD DUE TO AN ABSENCE OF BRAVERY, BECAUSE I AM NOT A COWARD

I KNOW ALL THE SECRETS OF THE EARTH

wherever there are eyes?

WHEREVER THE EYES ARE

i'm not very brave either

you're in good company

/

do you sleep?

NO

are you a person?

NO

are you real?

NO

... is any of this real?

YES

what part?

THE SUN FEELS NICE TODAY

DO NOT PONDER THINGS THAT DO NOT CONCERN YOU

A GOD IS A GOD EVEN IF YOU DO NOT SEE HIM

you're not a god

I AM YOURS

are you tired?

NO

i am. i want to sleep without knowing. i want to dream without seeing

I AM SORRY

I WILL DREAM WITH YOU IF YOU LIKE

/

do you know how long will this last? do you know what this is all about?

YOU MISTAKE OUR POWER AS A DELIBERATE ONSLAUGHT. YOU DO NOT SEE. I SEE. I SEE. I SAW CREATION. I SAW END. CREATION CONTINUES. THERE IS NO CERTAINTY, NO PREDETERMINED PROPHECIES OF CARNAGE. WE SIMPLY ARE

like the boogeyman?

HE WAS REAL, AND HE WAS QUITE MEAN. BUT I SUPPOSE

/

look!

A METEORITE

... do you want to make a wish or shall i? or will you just tell me it's all, i don't know, worthless and nothing but– minerals burning up in our atmosphere?

IT IS WORTHLESS

I WILL MAKE A WISH

/

—and that, there, is the perseus constellation. the hero, i think

I AM AWARE. SO ARE YOU

i know, i know. but i knew this... before, though

HUMANS HAVE WATCHED THE STARS FOR CENTURIES

THEY ARE NEVER ENDING, UNBLINKING

MUCH LIKE ME

I LIKE THEM

humans? or the stars?

/

HUMANS ARE ONE OF THE ONLY SPECIES THAT LAUGH

r-really? sorry, sorry, h-he fell over! backwards! oh, g— martin? are you o-kkkay—

YOU SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED FOR YOUR GENTLEMAN FRIEND

/

smell the flowers, pal!

I CANNOT

well, sure you can

I HAVE NO NEED

I UNDERSTAND THEM, THEY ARE MATTER AND BONDS

THEY ARE THE REPRODUCTION OF PLANTS

THEIR SMELL IS A CHEMICAL REACTION

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WOULD SMELL LIKE, OBSERVE THEM EXACTLY AS THEY ARE, I HAVE NO NEED TO INDULGE

they smell nice, is all. clears up my head. i think you should just try it

FINE

...

THEY ARE SWEETER THAN I KNEW

/

you don't know everything

NO

but nearly everything?

NO

THERE IS MORE TO COME, ALWAYS

does that make you happy?

OF COURSE

even if people suffer?

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND

HUMANITY SUFFERS THEIR MINDS. I DO NOT MAKE THEM FEAR. I SIMPLY AM

watching? waiting? learning?

YES. IT IS NOT MY PLEASURE OR DISPLEASURE. YOU MISTAKE ME FOR A MONSTER IN THE CLOSET

what, because you'd actually be under the bed?

MAYBE

/

I AM ALWAYS LEARNING

yes, i know. it's okay

I KNOW WHATEVER THERE IS TO KNOW. I WILL KNOW WHATEVER COMES. I CANNOT BE BLINDED

but you can shut your eyes, just for a minute. n-not even, just a second

I CANNOT

I FEAR I WILL LIKE IT

I FEAR I WILL NOT

/

I WOULD RAZE THE EARTH TO THE GROUND IF I COULD KNOW EVERY CORNER OF IT

you would destroy us all, just to, what, understand?

I DO NOT HOARD KNOWLEDGE AS A WEAPON

MANY MORE DO FAR WORSE THAN I

TO BE DESTROYED CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING

SOME SEEDS ONLY GROW AFTER A FIRE HAS FORCED THEM TO UNFURL

fire isn't your thing

NO

BUT IF I KNOW OF LIFE, AND SEE LIFE, AND WATCH LIFE, AM I NOT LIFE?

no. no, i wouldn't say that. you still have more to learn

I STILL HAVE MORE TO LEARN

/

THE TIME BEFORE THE SUN HAS CLAWED ITS HANDS OVER THE HORIZON, SUSPENDED AND SOUNDLESS, IT IS NOTHING BUT BLUE. I HAVE SEEN PEACE, BUT I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS LIKE THIS

IT IS A SECRET THAT MANY KNOW AND HOLD DEAR

/

REMEMBER, IT IS YOUR TURN TO COOK FAMILY DINNER

thank you. but stop calling it that

DINNER IS A WELL DOCUMENTED AND COMMON TERM

that's not what i meant and you know it

YES, I DO

/

WHAT IS THIS?

oh. childhood... pet.

YOU DID NOT HAVE ANY SMALL ANIMALS WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG

I WOULD HAVE KNOWN

no... yeah, no, she would just come up to our door sometimes and cry

I SEE

SHE IS VERY AGREEABLE

you mean sweet? yes. she was.

I WATCH THE BIRDS OUTSIDE

I SEE THE WAY THEY FLY

I SEE WHERE THEIR BIOLOGY TELLS THEM TO GO

do you like birds?

IS THIS TO LIKE?

well, do they make you happy?

PERHAPS

THEY NEVER FLY THE SAME WAY

IT IS UNKNOWABLE

/

THERE IS A REASON ANGELS ARE DEPICTED WITH A THOUSAND, BURNING EYES

/

SOMETIMES, YOU TREAT ME AS IF I WERE HUMAN, ARCHIVIST

i do? i do

it's easy to slip into, i guess

I THINK IT IS A CERTAIN WONDERFUL SOMETHING THAT YOU FIND IT SO EASY TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND, LIKE A SINGING IN YOUR BLOOD

YOU WANT TO EXPOSE, AND KNOW, AND FIND, AND GROW, BUT I AM RIGHT HERE, AND I AM GROWING TOO

to try and understand you, as a person?

i guess it's a silly way of thinking. but, aren't you human, almost?

you are here for us

I AM HERE FOR NO ONE

BUT I DO FAVOUR HUMANS

I AM NOT ONE

were you, once?

NO

will you ever be?

WITH YOU, I AM ENOUGH

IT IS OKAY TO BE ENOUGH

/

WHAT IS UNTOLD AND WHAT IS UNKNOWN ARE SEPARATE, CHANGING THINGS

I DO NOT KNOW THE WAY WHICH YOU WASH YOUR HANDS WITH SOAP, BUT YOU DO NOT TELL ME

i don't need to tell you everything. you don't need to know everything

BUT I WOULD LIKE IT

VOICELESS BEINGS LIKE ME EXIST WITHOUT REASON BUT SURVIVE THROUGH YOU

YOU DRIP WITH INFORMATION YOU SURELY CANNOT DIVINE

like what?

I KNOW THE DATE OF YOUR DEATH FROM THE WAY YOU HOLD YOUR ARMS

I CANNOT COMPREHEND IT

there are a lot of secrets in the world, you're aware

I AM AWARE

BUT YOU ARE DIFFERENT

TAUNTING

UNMATCHED

YOU KNOW TOO MUCH AND TOO LITTLE

what are you trying to say?

I WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU ARE GONE

/

BEHOLD

CAKE?

would you like some? it's still warm

martin made it 

I WOULD

I LIKE BEING WARM

haha, yes. i suppose i do too.

THIS IS FILLED WITH SUGAR

YOU WILL GET CAVITIES

nonsense. it's carrot cake.

THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS, YOU KNOW

i know

/

will i ever be free from this?

MAYBE

hm

it... it used to be a solid "no", what's changed?

I HAVE ALWAYS WATCHED YOU, ARCHIVIST. BUT I AM GROWING QUITE FOND, AS OF LATE. I AM NOT YET WILLING TO LET YOU GO, BUT I AM AFRAID IT IS NOT QUITE ALL IT SEEMS

what's that supposed to mean?

I WILL ALWAYS BE NEAR. YOU WILL NEVER BE "FREE" AS MUCH AS MY EYES WILL NEVER CLOSE AS MUCH AS THE SUN WILL NEVER STOP BURNING AS MUCH AS THE UNIVERSE WILL NEVER STOP SPINNING

but i could go back to my old life

I CANNOT SAY

i can't even get tattoos. they'd heal right over

YOU WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DECIDE WHAT APPEALS TO YOU MOST TO DEDICATE IT ON YOUR SKIN

yeah, i know

YES. YOU DO

i suppose i didn't have much of an old life before, anyway

the sun _is_ going to stop burning

NOT BEFORE YOUR TIME

and what will happen to you?

REBIRTH IS A SUBLIME THING, FILLED WITH GLORY. BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE, AND WILL NEVER GET THE CHANCE

WE WILL MEET AGAIN, AND ALL WILL BE WELL

THERE IS ALWAYS MORE

I HAVE ALWAYS ADMIRED THE HUMANS THAT SUBMIT THEMSELVES TO DECORATION, CONTROLLED SELF MUTILATION IN THE NAME OF BEAUTY

TO PUT A PART OF YOURSELF SO IN THE OPEN, BARE 

KNOWN

/

HOW CAN YOU STAND IT?

it's not that hard to breathe

I DO NOT BREATHE

I DO NOT BURY

i know. it's cold, though, and i'm comfortable

YOU ARE SAFE?

YOU ARE WARM?

yes

YOU ARE CONTENT, DESPITE THE EYES? DESPITE THE WATCHING? DESPITE ME?

you're always there. you've always been there, why would i care? 

I SEE

THESE BLANKETS ARE VERY SOFT

LOOK AT THE WAY THE SUNLIGHT SPILLS

IT BATHES EVERYTHING IN GOLD

/

I MADE YOU A CUP "O" TEA

r-really? how— i mean... where is it? thank you?

HERE IS YOUR CUP "O" TEA, JON

stop saying it like that— oh! i didn't know you could do that. um, thank you. it looks very nice

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU LIKE YOUR CUPS "O" TEA, JON

/

DO YOU LIKE THIS?

hm? what? 

the painting?

YES

DOES IT APPEAL TO YOU

it was a gift, from a good friend

DOES THAT CHANGE THE FACT?

of course. gifts aren't just for you, they're for whoever is giving them

and green is my favourite colour

I KNOW

THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME

/

you are fear

I AM

but you are knowledge?

I AM UNDERSTANDING

but the fear... it makes you happy?

YES

IT TAKES CARE OF ME

FEAR HAS NEVER BEEN MY ENEMY, NOR YOURS

how so?

FEAR IS WHAT STOPS YOU FROM FALLING

OR WANDERING INTO THE DARK, LONELY WOODS

OR BURNING YOUR HAND ON THE WATER YOU BOIL

OR FIGHTING A MERCILESS ENEMY

that's... true, but that's just evolution. it's hardwired.

AND WHO IS IT DO YOU THINK WERE THE PROGRAMMERS?

WHO IS IT WHO TAUGHT YOU TO SURVIVE?

/

you are... far from holy

AS ARE YOU

KNOWLEDGE IS NOT EVIL

YOU SLAUGHTER THOSE WHO CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO LIVE, YOU HUNT TO NOURISH, YOU BURY YOUR LOVED ONES AT REST, YOU WORSHIP SPIRALLING CHAOS, YOU SLEEP IN THE DARK, YOU BURN FIRE AT THE HEART OF YOUR HOMES

WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE AND WE ALWAYS WILL BE BUT WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE YOUR NIGHTMARES

so you're saying it's our fault?

NO. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE AND WE ARE WHAT WE ARE

but you do enjoy it when people are afraid. you do enjoy the... chase

I DO

KNOWLEDGE IS KNOWLEDGE

/

do you talk to... elias?

SOMETIMES

what does he say?

HE DOESN'T REPLY, IN ANY WAY THAT MATTERS. HE HAS BEEN WATCHING FOR A LONG TIME. WHY DO YOU ASK?

no reason, i suppose. we didn't always talk, either

NO. WE DID NOT

/

i guess i have always, um, _admired_ eyes

YOU HAVE?

i have. windows to the soul, and all that

I LIKE THAT PHRASE VERY MUCH

THEY ARE DOORWAYS

MANY DO NOT REALISE HOW MUCH THEY CAN GIVE AWAY WITH A SINGLE GLANCE

I CAN SEE

do you do it to me?

I DO

what do you see?

NOTHING BAD

/

IS THIS NORMAL?

um, yes? cats sort of, knead things with their claws when they're comfortable, it's stimulating, i think

HE IS DOING IT ON YOUR STOMACH

DOES IT NOT HURT?

sort of, but it's okay

why did you ask, like you didn't already know?

I ENJOY IT WHEN YOU TELL ME THINGS, ARCHIVIST

/

would you tell me things, if i asked?

YOU CAN SIMPLY SEE FOR YOURSELF. WHY INQUIRE?

oh. well. i don't know. silly question

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

do my friends... are... does everyone end up happy, i-in the end?

AH

I AM NOT SURE

BUT THAT YOU ARE ASKING MEANS YOU WOULD TRY TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, DESPITE IT ALL

/

TELL ME, ARCHIVIST

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG?

i'm not sure. i don't really get the chance to listen to music

if i told you, what would you do with it?

I WOULD PLAY IT

I WOULD LISTEN

/

PEOPLE DO WORSHIP ME

WHETHER THEY KNOW IT OR NOT

THE CEASELESS, TERRIBLE OBSERVER

THE IMPASSIVE, UNTIRING ONE WHO SEEKS IMPOSSIBLE KNOWLEDGE

do you want me to worship you?

NO

YOU ALREADY ARE

how?

SURELY YOU CAN SEE. ARE YOU NOT PRAYING?

we're just talking

AND WHAT ELSE COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?

**Author's Note:**

> @[personal blog](http://redtale.tumblr.com) on tumblr feel free 2 talk 2 me! i dont post tma though in fact ive never even listened to it <3 mwah
> 
> thought this would b fun! its all up 2 interpretation but ended up kind of... You know <3 i wrote it with a platonic very, um, give and take interesting sort of relationship in mind though! but also like, a man and his god if his god was discovering it has emotions and the capability to feel. fugeddaboutit. 
> 
> im um not strictly against a um romantic angle i guess but it'd just have to b a very specific slow brewing situation and almost entirely making the beholding ur own oc just like i did, i do not vibe w the idea of the beholding being in love w jon from the beginning thats mad creepy and uncomfortable <3 but its fine cuz i dont think the beholding is actually real except 4 me. it does simp for him though /j but whatever anyway
> 
> im not religious at all im just like this
> 
> blanket statement feel free 2 write anything similar or take inspiration but i would love to see it is all!!! beholdingjon rights? i read all comments & love u all !

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I KNOW / THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460156) by [faedemon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/faedemon/pseuds/faedemon)




End file.
